Let all that you do be done in love. 1. Corinthians 16:14
Love is an extremely broad concept. For many, love is about feelings: a deep affection for someone or something. While affection is certainly part of ‘love,’ this feeling of affection alone does not constitute love – that would be infatuation. Indeed, when we reduce love to merely a feeling, we lose the action of love.
Thomas Aquinas, a hugely influential theologian who lived in the 13th century, defined love as “the choice to will the good of the other.” This definition better expresses what love is – specifically the kind of ‘love’ St Paul is referring to.
Love is an action – a selfless action. This definition of love does not come naturally to us, as our default setting is that we should do everything for our own benefit. Love requires purposely acting in the interest of the other.
It is well known that ancient Greek has several words for ‘love.’ There is eros for sensual love. This passionate love can even be dangerous because it can take hold of you and possess you and lead to a loss of control. Then there is philia for friendship love, and agape for selfless love – this is the love that seeks the good for others without expecting anything in return.
This distinction is what separated phila from agape. Friendship love is for someone you enjoy spending time with because they have the same hobbies and interests as you. Agape is a bit more abstract. It is a love that wants to give freely to others – regardless of our relationship to them. It is a love that simply wants the best for them. Often this is referred to as charity, or even altruism.
This is the love that God has for us. This is the love that caused Him to send His Son to atone for our sins. This is love, not based on feelings, but on a deliberate choice: to act in the best interests of others. St John expresses this aspect of agape love when he writes: this is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us. (1 John 4:10).
We have a tendency to ‘love the lovable’ (see Luke 6:32-36). We tend to show our love only to those who have earned it and who love us back. But God’s love is underserved love – which Jesus demonstrates by willingly and intentionally dying for our sins on the cross. No one takes my life from me, says Jesus, but I lay it down of my own accord. (John 10:18). Indeed, God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, St Paul says. (Romans 5:8). Indeed, God does not love us because we decide to change for the better. In fact, it is the other way round: God changes us to follow His ways because He loves us! As St John concludes: We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19).
This undeserved agape love is to permeate everything we do. Let all that you do be done in love. We are called to engage in self-sacrificial love – love that shows itself in action – love for the sake of others. This includes a willingness to do anything for the sake of reaching out to others with the Gospel – like St Paul did: For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them … I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings. (1 Corinthians 9:19+23).
This is the wonderful message of the gospel: that our sins are forgiven because of God’s agape love. God’s underserved, self-sacrificial, forgiving love. And this kind of love -this love of God toward us- is the motivation for our love toward others.
